Tag Archives: being good

Good Girl to God’s Girl – A Keystroke Off

11 Oct
Five years ago, I discovered my life was a keystroke off. 
One little “o.”
I hadn’t noticed at first. Not really. The spell check of life didn’t catch it. Everything made sense. Things appeared in order.
Yet, something was definitely off.
What could it be?
  • Grew up in church
  • Minded the rules
  • Graduated college
  • Got married
  • Stayed in church
  • Had children
  • Worked hard
  • Lived honest
  • Kind to others
  • Paid tithe
  • Good girl
Ahhh….that’s it. One little “o” too many.
It looked okay at first. But that extra keystroke; it changed everything.
Good. God. I’d become Good Girl instead of God’s Girl.
How did it happen?
For the next several weeks, I’ll be sharing my personal experience of too much obedience and not enough relationship. This will include sharing journal entries, scriptures and prayers.
Could you be a keystroke off? Consider these tendencies I found in myself. They’d evolved from an innocent place, but morphed into destructive habits and a false sense of self. 
  • Measurement. Whether it’s a to-do list, a mental check of productivity,  or an inner comparison of self against others, a good girl’s always got to be measuring herself, judging herself.
  • People pleasing. Because performance is everything in a good girl’s life, making people happy is essential. Saying no isn’t even an option. Everyone must be pleased with good girl.
  • Achievement. Since productivity and performance are driving motivations, achievements usually follow the good girl. But, they never bring rest, only pressure to get up and do it all over again.
It’s a vicious cycle. Achievement looks great on the measurement scales. Yet, it resets the bar even higher.
And people? Oh, they always notice achievements, offer compliments. They’re pleased. But, now they expect you to keep it up
See how it all feeds the good girl machine?
There’s certainly nothing wrong with working hard, being kind to others, and having some success in your endeavors. But if those are accompaied by exhaustion, irritability, and frustration (and a fair amount of eye rolling), some editing may be required.
Question:  What warning signs have you learned to recognize in yourself? When do you realize you need to step back and evaluate what’s driving you, motivating you, strengthening you?

Linking up with

Life: Unmasked


Is it really such a big deal?

28 Jan

It wasn’t a peaceful night in my house last night. Two-and-a-half hours after bedtime, I find my boys awake with their DS games synced and in play.

It may not sound like a huge deal, but that’s how sin works. It doesn’t sound so bad at first.

It was a big deal. I got angry. I sinned as a result of my anger. Then I hated myself for sinning. It’s just a winding spiral – rebelliousness, disobedience, lying, willfully going against what you clearly know you should do.

I considered my emotions: anger, hurt, disrespect – just glimpses of what I do to my Heavenly Father every time I sin.

This morning, my boys were so tentative. They felt the distance between us because of their behavior. My own angry behavior last night only compounded the distance. Sin separates. Thank God I could use it as a teaching moment with them this morning.

All sin matters. All sin builds into further destruction if not confessed, and turned away from. There are consequences, but because of Christ, there is also grace. (John 1: 16 – 17)

Tonight, my boys will still enjoy the plans they had. That’s grace, not something they deserve, but they will be given it. Yet, they will also have a punishment. A few infact. All things DS are put up for an indefinite amount of time. Allowance they’d just been given is gone,  and no computer time.

Are they loved? YES. Are they forgiven? YES. Are they disciplined? YES.

Just like me.

In Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis writes about the differences between “being good” for the christian and non-christian.  “They [non-christians] hope, by being good, to please God if there is one; or…at least hope to deserve approval from good men. But the Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a greenhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines on it.”

Becoming. By grace, I’m still becoming.

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